Contingency upon contingency

This morning I was planning to ride my bike to work for the first time. I had psyched myself up and everything. However, when I went out back to get my bike, I found that the front tyre was completely flat. Since I didn't have time to pump it up and check how quick the leak was, I decided to take the tram. This made me angry because it was a really nice day and I had been looking forward to getting home quicker on my bike at the end of the day. After I had been waiting at the tram stop for about five minutes, I noticed that the approaching trams were not getting any closer than two stops away before heading back in the other direction. The notice board began to say, 'Service disruption, expect delays.' At first I thought this might make me very late for work and I got even angier, but then I reaslised all I could do was laugh. If I had seen this series of unlikely coincidences happen in a sit-com, I would have said it was unrealistic. Who has two incidents of such bad luck happen in the same morning? So, shaking my head in disbelief, I walked home, got in my car (feeling thankful my husband wasn't around to share it) and drove to work instead.

The moon and tacos

I'm thankful tonight for my view on my walk home from work and my dinner once I got home. As I was coming up the hill, not really paying attention, the moon came out from behind some clouds and looked silvery and spectacular. It's full or almost full; I love it when I catch a glimpse of it through the clouds at this time in its cycle. Then, when I got home I made veggie tacos. They turned out really yummy and I realised a huge bonus of vegetarian meals: they take a lot less time to make. So I guess my message for tonight is to look up, especially when there are clear patches in the clouds, and make vegetarian food, especially when dinner's going to be late.

____ makes the heart grow cold

I've been feeling unloving toward my husband the last few days. It's a very neutral feeling; it's not negative, like anger or aversion, as when he started revealing past misdemeanours in the process of dealing with our issues. Last weekend we went away together for my birthday, a surprise he had planned for me, and it was really nice and amicable. I think my lack of feeling for him comes from distance and the stress of my new job. The combination of him being away for so long now that I've create my self-sufficient lifestyle and my mind being occupied with getting my head around my work responsibilities has left a blankness where my affection should be. At first I was worried about it, but our counsellor has said that in the next session or two we will work on passion and intimacy so I will see what comes from that. Also, when all this relationship shit started I decided it wouldn't be accurate to make any final decisions while my husband was still working interstate so much of the time; it's so hard to get a feel for our modus operandi right now.

Significance

I don't know why my mind insists on adding significance to things - it's tiring. I was really excited about starting my new job so I began thinking about how this might be the next new direction for my teaching career. Then, today I'm having nerves so I worry that something will happen and the job will fall through. Something similar happens when my husband calls from interstate, or comes home for the weekend. I have to remind myself to relax and let us have a normal time together rather than making it feel important. When I get tired and headachy, suddenly my brain suspects it's a migraine. I guess I need to work on accepting that my mind does this and try to just be in the current moment - easier said than done, though.

Patience pays off

I have been looking for a job for about two months, alternately sending out resumes to only great-sounding, perfect jobs and sending them out to anything that I think I could do. I hadn't had many responses, and I put it down to trying to change career paths. Finally, a week and a half ago I got a call from a private college where I had applied at back in January. I didn't get the original office administration position, but they wondered if I would be interested in student support services. I am, so I had an interview last week, references checked this week, now a job offer and I will start next week. This comes at the perfect time since I was beginning to think I would need to start emergency teaching if nothing came through soon. Also, the hours of this job overlap with the tutoring hours I was going to do, but I'm happy with that because I was becoming less enthusiastic about being a 'private contractor' with the associated ABN and liability insurance paperwork and expenses. This new job feels like it could be a rewarding direction for my teaching career to go in, while also allowing time for writing.

Long time no post

I haven't posted in quite a while for a combination of reasons: I've been waiting to hear about a job prospect, then I planned to post on how it serendipitously came about; I've been madly editing my novel so I can send it out to agents and publishers; and I've had a few small wonderings and gratitudes, but self-doubt has told me they weren't important enough to write a post about. So, now I'm here and I'm going to try to ignore all that.
This morning I'm going to expound the virtues of having a go-to pancake recipe. I have mine pretty much memorised so I know at a glance if I have all the ingredients. I can assemble it without much effort, even before coffee or mimosas are made in the morning. And, I know intuitively how long the pancakes cook so I rarely burn them anymore. It has taken years to get to this stage, but until I thought about it just now I didn't really appreciate what a useful thing having a personal pancake recipe is. Now today's holiday Monday pancakes are just about done, so I'm off to enjoy them. Happy Labour Day, Aussies!

'Alternative' therapies

Tonight I am extremely thankful for the unexpected benefits of 'alternative' therapies. (I put it in quotes because I think it's silly that traditional, non-pharmaceutical, Eastern or other similar treatments are considered alternatives.) I saw my chiropractor, then had acupuncture, which finished with a little bonus Chinese massage. I've had positive results in the past treating my migraines with the combination of chiropractic and acupuncture. Today, I went into their office dizzy, as I've been for weeks; and I left without dizziness! I don't know which of the treatments finally calmed my head, but I don't care. My head isn't swimming and fuzzy for a change! I'm interested to see if I wake up tomorrow with any dizziness or not. Whether I do or not, I've enjoyed an afternoon and evening of unprecedented steadiness.