Reviews: is there anything more transitory?

I just finished reading a light, quick, holiday read, then rated in on GoodReads. While reading others reviews, I learned an important lesson that I'll need to hold onto as a writer. Likes and dislikes are highly subjective and are often inconsistent. I quite liked the book and ignored the minor problems with the writing, whereas others hated it and didn't finish it before writing a detailed, negative review of it. It's not that I didn't know people have different opinions about things, especially subjective topics like art and literature. This was particularly clear last night at my book club when four of us expressed differing perceptions of a currently popular book. I need to hold onto this understanding when my writing is subject to reviews. What someone says in a review is more about them and their perception of your piece than it is about the quality or validity of your work. If one book can range from one-star, I have nothing nice to say, all the way to five-star, I've never read a better book, then that has nothing to do with the author. The negative reviewers all picked up problems which I noticed but wasn't bothered by. Interestingly, many of the issues with this book were things I'd criticised in the last book I reviewed. It all comes down to your mood and your particular sensitives at the time of reading the book and writing the review.

Advancing as a writer?

I've just finished the manuscript for a YA romance that I started writing for class last year. Unlike other times when I've finished a long piece, I've only sent this one to writing friends who've expressed a willingness to be a first reader. In the past I was so excited, relieved and surprised to finish a piece of writing that I sent it off to all my supportive family. They are lovely fans of my work (or me?) and usually offer nothing but praise for it and respect for the accomplishment. That's heart-warming and beneficial if I've recently had a rejection, but it doesn't get me closer to a publishable product. This time I'm sending the manuscript out more strategically at this stage, then once it's more polished I'll send it to my family. Does this mean I'm more serious now? Maybe I am in a good place and don't need their loving enthusiasm. Perhaps I've finally learned, from sending these things to other writers, that there are many changes to be made once they've read it so it's not complete enough to send to my family yet. I don't know if this makes me a slightly less emerging writer or not.

Ode to public transport

I took the tram to dinner at a friend's house last night. It was the first time on public transport in weeks because it's too hard on my sore hip and I don't have the energy after work to walk to the tram stop. It made me realise two things. First, I miss taking public transport. I get to listen to my playlist instead of whatever's on the radio in the car (I know I could plug my phone into the car, but I never bother). Also, I get to people-watch: I practise writing character descriptions and backstories for strangers. Second, I've fallen into a habit of thinking I can't do things because my hip will hurt. Sometimes that's true, but last night I had been resting all afternoon because my boss kindly let me work half-days until my hip is fixed. I might be a bit sore today but I enjoyed the journey more. Driving would have involved trying to find parking and knowing my husband needed to go out but him letting me take the car anyway (my bad hip trumps his healthy ones). Hopefully I can remember this advice to myself: do the things you enjoy, even if they might hurt a little.

Do you think pain aversion should over-rule fun experiences?

Rain and a good book

Tonight I'm thankful for a blustery, rainy night and good book to curl up with. I wanted a quiet night and the addition of rain has made it cozy as well. I think it also helps that I'm reading a collection of short stories involving arcane magic. I can lose myself in the spooky ambience because I know it's dark and stormy outside. Also I have a cat, although she doesn't look like a witch's cat, and a creaky old house. The only thing that would make it more atmospheric would be reading by candlelight.

New Year's Resolutions

I thought I would share my New Year's resolutions so that maybe I will feel more accountable for them. I'd love to hear from readers about their resolutions too. I've tried to write mine so they align with my values and are meaningful.

For writing my resolutions are to get published more than last year (I've started a chart to record my publication stats) and to pitch my non-fiction teaching resource to publishers in Australia, the UK and the US. This means racking up more rejections while maintaining my optimism each time I send it out.

In the personal realm my resolutions include continuing to meditate, and to get back into tennis, yoga and bike riding once my hip is fixed up. I would also like to start boxing (for exercise, not competition). I used to do boxing-fit classes, but then we moved and I didn't know of a gym nearby that offered it. This year I will find one and use some of my writing income to pay for classes. Finally, I will look at ways to strengthen our marriage because it's too easy to take my husband and our relationship for granted. 

I'm a little bit worried about not being able to do some of these resolutions for two reasons. One, many of them aren't measurable, which is one of the tenets of good goal-setting. Two, some of them are contingent on things beyond my control, like being published and getting my hip back in shape sooner rather than later.

I also found some useful articles about resolutions:
New Year's Resolutions Generator (from 2013)
10 Ways your Smartphone Can Help you Keep New Year's Resolutions This Time Around
A Harvard professor reveals how to make New Year's Resolutions that you can actually keep

Why do I always by the red one?

I don't often buy lipstick because I don't use much of it, but when I do I always buy one that's too bright red. I think the problem is that I shop for make-up with my eyes and not my brain. I find make-up counters very frenetic and overwhelming so my brain usually wants to get in and get out as soon as possible. I also love the colour red in almost all its shades. This is probably my major downfall: I see a crimson, maroon or burgundy that I love and I buy it. My eyes appreciate the colour, but my brain goes to sleep and doesn't remind me that I can't wear red lipstick. Then I get home and put it on and see that it's too bright and artificial-looking for my complexion. I think the reason this happens over and over is that I buy it so infrequently that I've forgotten the lessons of last time by the next time I go.

Does anyone else buy things that are wrong for them on a regular basis?

First meditation of the year

I did my first meditation of the year last night. I had taken a break from daily meditation over the past two weeks or so because my morning routine has been on holiday like the rest of me. Last night I felt the desire for the quiet and wholeness that comes with a good meditation session. I've learned not to put expectations on meditating but to accept what comes. Luckily tonight the  experience aligned with my hope. I felt peace and expansiveness; I was untouchable and self-contained - all at the same time. 

It occurred to me halfway through that it's been a long time since I meditated 'on' anything. I asked myself if there was anything I felt I needed and the word "courage" came immediately to mind. I didn't question this thought-offering as I would have had I not been immersed in a meditative state; I did mention it was a very good session, didn't I? As I took deep breaths, visualising the drawing in of courage, I had a realisation: I am in this body, but I am not it. Me - the central, essential me - is not this outward body. That is a very powerful understanding and, I realised after a moment, directly related to my call for courage. Since I am not my body, I do not need to be impacted or lessened in any real sense by what happens in the physical world, to my body. I can get through hip pain because it's a surface condition. Writing rejections can't actually cause damage and therefore don't need to carry unproportional weight. I don't need to fear embarrassment or reprimand in interactions with people: they're only perceiving my body. It's a regular human body like everyone else's, but it's not me. Certainly it's a part of me. I will still feel pain and blush with embarrassment, but it need not have any lasting effect. 

I'm hoping by writing about this I can hold on to this liberating epiphany. Wouldn't it be wonderful if 2015 were the year I stopped stressing about insubstantial, imagined and uncontrollable things!