What's in a name?

According to my Apple dictionary, admittedly not a definitive source, a ‘consideration’ is a thought, reflection, meditation, concern, rumination etc. I would like this blog to do those things. I’m hoping I can keep the posts positive because, as someone once reminded me, it is important to practise the habits of mind that you value and want to foster. For me those are: positivity, curiosity, openness and self-reflection (hence, a blog is a good forum).


Also, I’m calling them 'small' because I would like to try to get into the habit of blogging briefly but often. That way I can reflect on everyday occurrences and make this form of writing and thinking a habit, hopefully.


Thursday, 25 April 2013

Wavering self-belief

I had a flash of self-doubt or an absence of ambition or something this week. It was rather like a dizzy spell. It came on and suddenly I thought, 'What if I can't be a writer?' I had the horrible feeling that I had been wasting my spare time for the past two years and was wasting this year of leave (from full-time work). I dreaded deeply (and still do) the possibility of never being published after putting in so much work to write my stories. After the spell was over, like dizziness, there was a lingering wisp of unsureness about myself and my choices. Then I went to work at the arts college and I walked into a film and television production class. The lecturer was saying, by coincidence, 'You have to make the film because until you do you're not a filmmaker. You don't know that you can do it, until you do it.' That statement restored my self-belief and optimism. They still waver occasionally, but I think that's natural and probably healthy - though why it's healthy I'll have to explore some other time.

No comments:

Post a Comment