Wavering self-belief

I had a flash of self-doubt or an absence of ambition or something this week. It was rather like a dizzy spell. It came on and suddenly I thought, 'What if I can't be a writer?' I had the horrible feeling that I had been wasting my spare time for the past two years and was wasting this year of leave (from full-time work). I dreaded deeply (and still do) the possibility of never being published after putting in so much work to write my stories. After the spell was over, like dizziness, there was a lingering wisp of unsureness about myself and my choices. Then I went to work at the arts college and I walked into a film and television production class. The lecturer was saying, by coincidence, 'You have to make the film because until you do you're not a filmmaker. You don't know that you can do it, until you do it.' That statement restored my self-belief and optimism. They still waver occasionally, but I think that's natural and probably healthy - though why it's healthy I'll have to explore some other time.