The power of a good decision

I know that title sounds like a self-help book, but in this case it's apt. I have self-helped in the truest sense. For weeks something about my marriage and my husband has been bothering me. On the weekend it finally coalesced into something I could verbalise. I wasn't sure if I love him still, if I was staying in the relationship because I like the security, if I was using him or being a coward. When that all came boiling into consciousness, I realised that I did want to love him. So I decided to love him. As soon as I made that decision, I knew it was right. The rightness zinged like a tuning fork tapped gently. I realise now that deciding to love him means I've actually decided to forgive him for the pain he's caused me in the last few months and move on with our relationship. Instead of the dull ambiguous disinterest and vague anger that's been clouding my feelings for ages, I feel renewed. Now I get to rediscover all the fun ways of actually showing someone you love them.