I'm feeling discouraged as a writer. It's frustrating waiting on editors to publish articles they commissioned and waiting on judges to deliberate on competition entries. I feel like I've put lots of writing and energy out there and I'm getting almost nothing in return. I can't say completely nothing because I did have some lovely comments from a friend who read my website for the first time, which is nice. However, it doesn't get me closer to being a proper, published, professional writer.
I know there were times in my early teaching career when I questioned my choice of profession and persistence to get through that initial unstable phase. At those times I had a series of strategies to help me stay the course. Now I need to come up with similar mechanisms for writing.
So I'm going to a weekend write-in with my writing group; I could browse through inspirational articles on my local writer's centre's website; maybe I'll talk to my writing group or class about my feelings – I wouldn't normally, but I'm trying to be less reserved. I could get a writing book out of the library to recharge my passion. I don't know whether I should write through these negative, self-doubting feelings. Should I keep writing until I find the wonderful, recuperating flow space that writing usually taps into or should I put aside writing for a while?
Since I'm not having a problem with not loving writing still or having writer's block, I'm not sure if the above strategies will change anything. I'm mostly struggling with the industry – the difficulty and slow pace of being published.
I've always found logical, natural consequences and motivations to be effective so maybe I should self-publish something just to feel like there's been progress.
What's in a name?
According to my Apple dictionary, admittedly not a definitive source, a ‘consideration’ is a thought, reflection, meditation, concern, rumination etc. I would like this blog to do those things. I’m hoping I can keep the posts positive because, as someone once reminded me, it is important to practise the habits of mind that you value and want to foster. For me those are: positivity, curiosity, openness and self-reflection (hence, a blog is a good forum).
Also, I’m calling them 'small' because I would like to try to get into the habit of blogging briefly but often. That way I can reflect on everyday occurrences and make this form of writing and thinking a habit, hopefully.
Friday, 10 October 2014
Writerly angst
Labels:
choices,
flow,
frustration,
publishing,
self-doubt,
strategies,
writing,
writing group
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