First meditation of the year

I did my first meditation of the year last night. I had taken a break from daily meditation over the past two weeks or so because my morning routine has been on holiday like the rest of me. Last night I felt the desire for the quiet and wholeness that comes with a good meditation session. I've learned not to put expectations on meditating but to accept what comes. Luckily tonight the  experience aligned with my hope. I felt peace and expansiveness; I was untouchable and self-contained - all at the same time. 

It occurred to me halfway through that it's been a long time since I meditated 'on' anything. I asked myself if there was anything I felt I needed and the word "courage" came immediately to mind. I didn't question this thought-offering as I would have had I not been immersed in a meditative state; I did mention it was a very good session, didn't I? As I took deep breaths, visualising the drawing in of courage, I had a realisation: I am in this body, but I am not it. Me - the central, essential me - is not this outward body. That is a very powerful understanding and, I realised after a moment, directly related to my call for courage. Since I am not my body, I do not need to be impacted or lessened in any real sense by what happens in the physical world, to my body. I can get through hip pain because it's a surface condition. Writing rejections can't actually cause damage and therefore don't need to carry unproportional weight. I don't need to fear embarrassment or reprimand in interactions with people: they're only perceiving my body. It's a regular human body like everyone else's, but it's not me. Certainly it's a part of me. I will still feel pain and blush with embarrassment, but it need not have any lasting effect. 

I'm hoping by writing about this I can hold on to this liberating epiphany. Wouldn't it be wonderful if 2015 were the year I stopped stressing about insubstantial, imagined and uncontrollable things!