Homework

For Valentine's Day we saw the marriage counsellor and she assigned us several pieces of homework. They will make the next several days that my husband is in town, and the next two weeks before we see her again, enlightening and hopefully fun. Firstly, we need to catch each other doing the right thing and overtly praise each other. She said this could even get to the point of ridiculousness; the point is to rebuild goodwill. Secondly, we are to watch out for falling into our normal negative interactions and behaviour patterns and record when this happens. Thirdly, when we notice a negative interaction beginning we each need to try to use genuine I-statements to break the cycle. This will likely be easier said than done, but I'm interested to see how it goes. Then, as we were about to leave she said, 'go and have fun this weekend. What do you do for fun?' That simple question revealed that there have developed some gaps in our knowledge of each other's likes and dislikes. For example, when put on the spot, I couldn't confidently name my husband's favourite colour. I know I could at one stage in our relationship, but I've forgotten. So, our last piece of homework, that she added, is to revisit some of those early-relationship questions. I'm really looking forward to getting to know my husband again and I hope he feels the same way. That sounds like a bit of silly wish after such a long time together, but obviously it's become necessary.