From Half of the Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie I've learnt about the attempted independence of the Igbo people in Nigeria and the resulting civil war during the 1960s. This has made me think about how cruel and violent people are towards one another and the deprivations of war. However, one of the main characters becomes someone who finds small things to laugh at in life despite its horror, which I also think is a valuable lesson. So I'm torn between feeling immense sadness and despair at the state of the world and enormous gratitude for the ease and blessings of my life.
I've just started Andre Agassi's Open in which he often says 'control what you can control'. The subtext of this is don't worry about the rest. This is useful partly because I'm a natural worrier, and partly because it fits my attitude to our marriage and my writing getting published. I often catch myself wondering nervously about our marriage sinking back to where one of us decides it needs to end, particularly if we're tired, stressed or sick and haven't been very communicative or loving towards each other. I can only do what I can do, I can't actually change my husband or his state of mind; I have to remember this. In terms of writing, I can keep writing the stories I feel inspired to tell in the best way I can, then I have to wait for the agents, publishers and magazines I send it to, to take the next step. It's a lesson in patience and letting go. Also, Agassi's book talks a lot about doing something you hate as a job of career, which reinforces that I do not want to be someone who goes to work hating my job everyday and resenting the hours I'm there. This seems especially unfair if you're working with children. Therefore, leaving my school and doing other things this year was the right decision.
Finally, I'm also reading The Design of Everyday Things by Donald A. Norman. He advises that when things don't work, like a new TV or an unfamiliar shower, it's a problem with the design. He suggests when you pick something up and figure out how to use it right away it's because someone has worked hard to design it well. This comes at the end of a chapter describing why people shouldn't beat themselves up over not being able to use a complicated new phone system or program a VCR (to use some slightly archaic examples). Also, it hints at how we can be a bit more mindful about the items we use for mundane tasks and feel appreciation for the objects that make our life easier (and for the people who designed the objects well).
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